Step Family Cafe Chapter 01 - Pumpkin Spice Breastmilk Latte

  • 10 months ago
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Note from the author: this is not a paranormal story and it's not really a true parody, just a bit of cheeky fun at the expense of a green mermaid coffee chain. Just go with it, I promise you'll have a good time.


“Fucking bitch!” I yelled and threw my handbag onto the table, then watched it slide across its shiny surface. It ended up falling off the far end, right at Mandy’s perfectly pedicured feet. She was wearing her open-toe red pumps again, the ones that made her tower over most men. It occurred to me that she’d make a fantastic Dominatrix, at least looks-wise.

“Someone’s in a pissy mood,” she mumbled and I glared at her. I was so not in the mood.

“So what? Got a problem with me, take it up with my brother.”

“Sheesh, girl! Chill. I’m not looking for a cat fight. Just better hurry and at least put your apron on before Adrian sees you’re late again.”

“My brother can go fuck himself. Today’s going to be shit, I can just tell.”

Mandy made a face and bent down to pick up my bag. “Okay, but I need you out here, the morning rush of decaffeinated corporate zombies is not something I want to deal with alone. I swear, those suits can’t find their way to good manners unless they’re on their second cup of the day,” she sighed.

I snatched the bag from her and took a deep breath. “Sorry, Mandy, I’m being a bitch and taking it out on you.”

She shrugged and, like a good coworker, slapped my ass, motioning for the staff room. “Go change, first, then you can tell me all about it while we make some men happy.”

“I wish some men would make me happy instead,” I laughed.

And I also took the joke a step too far, because Mandy rolled eyes at me.

I entered the staff room and locked the door behind me, in case one of the guys had some business inside. The last thing I needed was for one of them to start hitting on me, or worse, crushing on me and for my brother to find out.

He’d beat the crap out of him, fire him, and then lecture me to death. My step-brother wasn’t fun to be around on a good day, but now with his power trips, he’s a downright douche.

So I began to change into my work uniform, a basic white blouse which had the cafe’s name embroidered above my right tit, Café Plaisir - Pleasure Coffee House, when I felt an odd tingling in my boobs. I massaged them a little, but I didn’t dwell on it much. Perhaps it was just some leftover discomfort from my earlier… altercation. Damn bitch. I layered my apron on top of the blouse, tied my hair in a ponytail, and by the time I got to the coffee station, the line was already ten zombies long.

“So what happened?” Mandy asked, while she was taking orders. She preferred being behind the counter, dealing with money, plating desserts and packing sandwiches, than go through the pain of learning how to make latte art. Her cute foam milk hearts looked more like stunted dicks, which wasn’t really the vibe we were going for here, despite the brand name.

“I knew I was going to be late, so I cut through Young Street, where that Streetbucks is located.”

“Uh oh.”

“Yeah. But wait, it gets worse.”

“You saw the menu and you remembered that October was PSL month?”

“No, cause I never forgot it in the first place.”


“Some stupid bitch wasn’t looking where she was going, bumped into me and spilled her precious pumpkin spice latte on herself.”

“And of course she blamed you.”

“Of course.”

“And of course you didn’t keep your mouth shut and instead set her straight.”

“Of course. Except she wouldn’t learn her lesson and kept mumbling at me in some strange language.”


“I know what French sounds like, lol, it wasn’t that. It seemed European, so I guess half a point for you.”

“Yeah, I suppose that having an argument with someone like that, first thing in the morning, could sour your day. But only if you let it.”

I felt like pouring the iced Americano I was preparing on her stupid head. She had these zen philosophies, about being chill and happy and letting things slide off you like water off a duck’s back or something equally stupid. I wasn’t like that. My brother said I had a temper, but I was just simply no one’s doormat.
Before working at this coffee shop that my parents decided to open a few months ago, I had been secretly working as a barista. With a fake ID, but that was not what mattered now. What mattered was that I had long since learned how to deal with touchy men, pushy men, and pissed off bitches that thought I had a thing with their men, simply because my work outfit was on the skanky side. People just didn’t mess with me, or if they did, they did not get away with it. Except for her. Something about that PSL bitch kept me riled up, still. I couldn’t get over the incident and I couldn’t shake this odd feeling, like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, that this infuriating thing wasn’t over yet.

“Fuck!” I yelped. I had been lost in my rage and failed to notice I had poured too much tea in the to-go cup. I nearly scalded my left hand.

“Everything ok?” Mandy asked, finally concerned.

I didn’t curse on the job. I might be eighteen and not much of an adult, but I was old and wise enough to know I needed my money and I had to do anything to keep the jobs I landed.

“Yeah, sorry, just a little distracted.”

I couldn’t wait for the morning crowd to get lost and so I could take a short break. My breasts were killing me. I wanted to take my clothes off and just go bare.

So when the clock hit 10 and the last zombie left the coffee shop, his dose of caffeine balanced precariously in his hand, I snuck into the staff room and took off my blouse and bra.

I was a pretty big chested girl, proud of my 30DDs, but what was staring back at me now looked like generous Fs. I pressed a finger against my right breast, wincing. What the heck? I couldn’t have slammed into that bitch so badly, that I was aching still. And yet, here I was, in such pain, my boobs s

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Written by Stasia Grey
Cargado January 18, 2021
Notes A girl is cursed with lactating boobs, and she has to deal with a hot step-brother with a milk fetish!
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